“Are you having triplets?” – a random man in Chapters about my father’s age trying to be funny.
So you’re saying I’m enormous?
“If you feel wetness down there, that’s your water breaking.” – the same random man in Chapters.
Um, thanks tips. And why are you even thinking about my “down there” old man? That’s just gross.
“They say that if you’re pregnant with a girl, she steals your beauty…I think you’re having a girl.” – my friend’s sister moments after he introduced me to her.
Wow. Thank you. You must be blessed with many daughters.
“You’re having a girl because your face filled out like a balloon.” – our neighbor.
And you must be socially ostracized because your common sense filter is missing.
“Wide load coming through.” – a professional 40′s-ish women in the elevator attempting a joke as I walked in.
Are you expecting me to smile after a comment like that? (I gave her nothing but an uncomfortably long, blank stare).
“I never want to get pregnant. I don’t want to get fat.” – a female relative.
Are you calling me fat? Well clearly you’re new to the birds and the bees theory – this belly isn’t from a lack of exercise or poor nutrition, it’s a… (wait for it)…BABY!
“You’re not going to have that baby here are you?” – a real estate agent during a property viewing.
Well seeing is how I can control the miracle of birth, you better believe my delivery location of choice is at a property that I don’t own in front of strangers.
Seriously, how can people be this dumb?
I wish I had actually responded to these comments with a clever retort, but each time I was so shocked by the audacity of people’s words, that all I could muster was a mute, deer-in-headlights expression.
What is it about pregnancy that makes people think I’m immune to hurtful/stupid/inappropriate comments?
I truly do not understand this.
Sarah Rooftops - Wow. I thought I was tactless, but this is a whole new level. Why do these people not have normal brain-to-mouth filters?!
cocomama - I ask myself the same question Sarah. I just don’t get it.
Sasha - I think the best come back to most of those is “What do you mean? I’m not pregnant.” With a super serious face.
cocomama - Sasha I’m going to try that! At very least I’d make myself laugh which is a nice alternative to being rage-filled (haha).
Jenell - Weird! After looking at your last maternity pictures I thought to myself, “Damn, that’s a good looking, teeny-tiny belly (and Momma to be)! Clearly, she is having a boy!” lol. Specifically, I thought boy because I have also heard about baby girls ‘stealing’ their moms beauty. Chin up! You’re gorgeous, and look amazing. That said, I like Sasha’s idea:)… What baby?! Haha!!
Melanie - I’m sorry Rochelle I laughed at these. Not because they are funny, but because I can not believe people would actually sat things like this! Some people have lost their ‘common sense’ if they ever had it at all. When you are pregnant, especially when you are near the end, you already feel self conscious about how you look & your belly feels enormous, you don’t need ‘negative’ comments.
I hope you have been able to shrug off their negativity because you look amazing! And I’m not just saying that because you are my friend. :) Wish I could be there when you try Sasha’s idea, I would love to see the reaction! xoxo
Tricia - Do you have many random people coming up and touching your belly without asking? Apparently that happens a lot… sounds awful. With regards to the comments, I guess people assume that it’s one time in your life you won’t be “sensitive” about size because you know it’s happening… but it’s pretty tactless nonetheless!
Michelle - For the record I think you are having a girl and you look freakin fabulous for being so close to D-Day!! Honestly, such a teeny tiny beautiful woman, with a beautiful pregnant glow :) I say next time someone makes a rude comment suddenly act like you’re having contractions and ask them if they are certified in first aid because all the women in your family birth fast :). That should shut them up.
cocomama - Thank you all so much for the kind words, insight and support (and hilarious response suggestions I might add). I can laugh at it all now, it just still stuns me me in the moment. Oh well, soon this baby should be in my arms instead of my belly :)
nova - People are such idiots! This is not really the same but yesterday a lady told me that girls with forearm tattoos look like sluts…to me. A girl with forearm tattoos. Inside a tattoo shop! WHAT? hahaha I don’t know. Why can’t people think for a second before speaking.
cocomama - WTF? What’s the matter with people? I just don’t get it.